Format: Virtual Boy | Developer: Nintendo | Publisher: Nintendo | Genre: Platformer

I know that Wario has his fans. I think we all know that Wario has his fans; I’m not one of them, but I think Ev would talk for hours about Wario, should we let him. His popularity – everyone loves a greedy, selfish doppelgänger – has grown so much that, even though he has only been the main nemesis in a couple of earlier games (Super Mario Land 2: Six Golden Coins and Mario & Wario spring to mind), in more recent times he’s taken to appearing in the slew of Super Mario Kart sequels, Mario Party games and more Mario sports titles than you can shake a stick at.

He fought long and hard for it, but it’s clear Wario hasn’t a clue what to do with this key.

But Wario is different. He has his own games, and that’s discounting the Wario Ware games for a moment. I am, of course, referring to the Wario Land games. It seems a daft concept when you first hear it – ‘here’s a mediocre villain, help him collect money, have fun!’ is really all there is to a Wario Land game – but because of the originality of controlling a villain, coupled with the playability that Nintendo pile into their self-produced games, they’ve actually been quite successful.

I’d have failed in my review if I didn’t bring you a screenshot of Wario crawling through a dangerous passage disguised as a dragon.

That is, all apart from Virtual Boy Wario Land, and that is because the Virtual Boy wasn’t successful.
Now let us be frank here. I hadn’t heard of Virtual Boy Wario Land. It’s a naff title, for a start. Even a clichéd Wario Land VB would have sounded better. Plus, the concept sounds naff: “Wario’s fallen into a hole and discovered an underground civilisation, help him escape and OMG there’s TREASURE LOL!!!1”. And, of course, it’s on the Virtual Boy so there’s bound to be fake 3D and two colours all the way through the game.

The Bull Helmet looks like it belongs at a stag party.

But I can’t stop playing it, because it’s so bloody good.

So. It’s a side-on 2D platform game in a 3D environment. You are Wario, and you have the same basic ability as Mario in every single Mario game there is – you can walk, run, and jump. Often at the same time. Thankfully, though, the similarity ends there. You can bop baddies by jumping on their heads, but that only stuns them. Plus, there are much more amusing ways to dispatch them. Wario can charge into them manically, for example. You can use a ground pound (the first time this has ever been introduced, if I recall correctly, years before Yoshi’s Island). Or you can use one of Wario’s special helmets.
Yes, special hats are here, pre-empting Super Mario 64 – recycling ideas much, Nintendo? – and their addition to the gameplay really is something that gives Virtual Boy Wario Land an amount of pull above other platformers from that period. It’s pretty obvious what they do (the bull helmet allows for extra strength, the dragon helmet breathes fire…), but because of this, it’s not just another bog-standard platformer. (You can even combine the hats, too - eagle and dragon works especially well, flying and breathing fire - think of the possibilities!)

Obligatory water level.

The treasure-hunting element comes into it, as well. Like most games, you can collect large amounts of coins, but you also have to remember that this is Wario and he’s not going to let untold wealth in a secret underground kingdom pass him by. In fact, collecting specific treasures is the main point of playing through the game; there’s one in every level, and you really have to use your brain to identify secret passages than can lead to such items. Furthermore, every time you manage to lose all your lives (Game Over, of course), one of these treasures is deducted from Wario’s stash, and that means playing the entire level over and over again until you manage to find the damn thing. If this isn’t enough, the bonus games between levels will let you get your hands on more treasure, if you’re good enough.

That’s not a boss! Is it?!

It’s probably because it’s so simple and playable which leads to its main problem – like Mario Clash, in fact – some bits are annoyingly difficult. Finding treasures is all well and good, but if you realise before you leave a level that you haven’t actually found one, it’s a decision between finishing and yet not 100%ing it, or going back and searching random screens for any hidden passages that may or may not actually be hidden. And the bosses, while presented well, are also extremely difficult on account of the fact that if you don’t know what to do, you’ll just keep getting killed.

The bonus games work because they use the 3D element and contain massive amounts of treasure.

But that’s a minor gripe. It’s a relatively short game, and the fact that they seem to think you want to play through some of the levels again is a little annoying, but that’s challenge for you. It’s all presented well and very pretty, too; the 3D capacity of the Virtual Boy is used properly to bounce Wario between ‘forward’ and ‘back’ platforms á la Paper Mario, and the drawn graphics, stylistically, are suitably cartoony and only go towards complementing the game, while the backgrounds are mystical and underground-kingdomish.

Basically, it’s a slick, slightly flawed but mostly well-presented, playable game, a genuinely raw side-on platformer, one of the first games to feature a playable Wario, and easily the best title the Virtual Boy has to offer. Huzzah!

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